What Is Your “Too Much”…?

Many times our own words are the answers we are looking for…to the questions we have asked ourselves…we just don’t hear them.

An odd way to put that isn’t it?

Stated another way?

We hold the answers to our own questions.

Case in point.

One of the joys of my life is coaching others to find their better and best self.

To guide them on a discovery of what they do well and what they could do, let’s say effectively.

Recently, in a coaching session, I asked, “What do you consider to be your greatest strength?

Their answer?

“Communication”.

The obvious next question was, “What do you consider to be your greatest opportunity or gap?”

Their answer?

“I talk too much.”

Wait…what?

Can one’s greatest strength also be their greatest opportunity?

It often is.

I then asked, “Why do you think you talk too much?

They replied, “I don’t know. I have been told that.  But I do not know why I do it, why I talk “too much.”

Then I offered this, “It would be interesting for you to discover the “too” of your “much”.

When does something become “too much” of something that someone does so well?

Also intriguing was her resume and her professional accomplishments.

It was a solid page of a small font.

There was a lot of information.

Possibly too much, considering professional recruiters I know spend six to twelve seconds on an individual resume.

She has traveled throughout some of the most beautiful places on earth, not once, but many times.

She has been very successful financially and helped spend a lot of money for clients.

Like a lot of money.

Like…that’s a really big number lot of money.

Well educated, articulate, charming, positive, has experienced a professional life that others would dream of and wish for.

Yet…when asked what is your greatest opportunity they answered, “I talk too much.”

What is your “too much”?

You get to the metaphorical stop sign.

You tap the brakes and begin to slow down.

And then, you drive straight through the four way stop hoping to avoid a collision.

And you keep going.

In identifying your “too much”, ask yourself these nine questions.

1) Have I been told I do this, whatever your “this” is, too much?

2) Have I repeatedly been asked to not do this, whatever your this is?

3) Do people shy away from me because I do this?

4) Does this bring me a boost of self esteem followed by frustration?

5) What is the reason I do this?

6) Why can I not stop doing this?

7) Have I noticed this in others, and if so, what was my reaction?

8) What is the benefit of doing this, but not “too much”?

9) What steps can I take today toward this that will allow me to do less of this tomorrow?

Oh by the way…my “too much”?

I ask to many questions all at once.

Hmm…

Good luck in your, I mean, our mutual discoveries of why we do “too much” of whatever it is we do “too much” of.

Our greatest “strength” may also be our greatest “weakness”.

When done “too much.”